Jonas’ birthday party is tomorrow. His real birthday isn't until later this month, but my sister decided to have her wedding reception that day. I don't mind, he's turning three. He has no clue when his birthday is; it could be next Christmas and he'd be tickled to have a party. Anyway, I have gone a bit overboard, and I’m feeling a wee bit drained. I have been doing so much this week (for the party and other stuff) that the life is all but sucked out of me. Jonas was on one today and caused me to cry out of sheer frustration. He is a lot of work. Some days I just don’t have what it takes to be his mama. It's one of those days.

I have high hopes for his party, but do understand that I have a special needs child who is going to be not only thrilled to death with his big Incredibles bash, but probably have a few moments of not so stellar behavior. I am hoping that if I pawn the Magster off on my awesome mother in-law, have Chris trail the birthday boy, and take care of the rest (food, games, prizes) we might have a chance. At least he shouldn't freak out at present time like he usually does at birthdays- this time they're all for him.

Jonas picked out the Incredibles theme. He is my little Dash. My in laws gave him Dash pajamas last weekend and he has worn them everyday this week, all day long. I have had to wash them seperately because he must be attired in Dash-wear at all times. Earlier today he was wearing Dash shirt, Dash pants and Dash undies. When I want him to go somewhere I tell him to be Dash and run! Sometimes it works and sometimes it backfires dreadfully. I wish I were Elastigirl so I could reach all the way down the block and (smack him upside the head)- lovingly bring him back. Life’s not fair though, is it?

To entertain the sixteen children who will be attending (yes I just wrote sixteen, that was not a typo and yes, I realize I am certifiably insane, but, by golly, I will make this work!) I have 2 wading pools, once bounce castle, one sprinkler, and I spent hours sewing beanbags from Incredibles material to do a bean bag toss. (Actually, they aren’t filled with beans, beans are a choking hazard- I used rice. . .then I ran out of rice and tried to use minute rice, which interestingly enough, doesn’t work. At that point I used lentils, which worked.) Since we are talking about two and three year olds I made 3 shapes to lay on the ground and the kids just have to match the square bean bag (Rice bag? Lentil bag? Just doesn’t have the same ring to it does it?) to the square shape and the circle and triangle bean bag to their respective shapes. In fact- I don’t even care if they get it right- they will still get a cute little fringe edged bean bag to take home as a prize.

They will also be getting bouncy balls just for kicks and giggles. Gotta have party favors right? Well, I priced the bouncy balls at a few stores and couldn’t believe that most places wanted about 75 cents per tiny little choking hazard sized ball. Then I stumbled across a huge quarter machine at Old Navy filled with jumbo sized (read: non-choking hazard. . .I really sound like I worry about the choking thing don’t I?) bouncy balls. At a quarter a pop, I couldn’t beat the price. Of course, I had to show up on two different occasions with a fistful of quarters and stand there cranking the machine like a five year old. (I didn’t get enough the first trip- amazingly, I can invite twenty kids to playgroup and only four show up- I invite the same twenty to a birthday party and almost everyone makes it. . .perhaps I should write “free cake and bring me a present” on the playgroup invites, no?)

I made really great cupcakes today. Well, the second go round at the cupcakes was great. The first round Jonas was causing so much trouble that I got distracted and put in 2 cups of oil when I needed two cups of water. I watched the glistening gloop mixing in the Kitchen Aide for about five minutes before I realized my error. I had to make an emergency run to the commissary to buy more cake stuff. Anyway, I frosted them, then stuck a Swoop (new chocolate candies that look like little chocolate Pringles, but taste like the classic favs) halfway in, then stuck a vellum Incredibles character sticker to the swoop. These cup cakes are action packed, people! We will also be having apple cupcakes. I have to make those in the morning or they will be all brown and nastified by tomorrow. You just cut the apple in half, spread peanut butter on top and decorate. Mine will have goldfish swimming in the peanut butter with little raisins. I saw the idea in a Martha Stewart kids magazine (she may be a crook, but the woman has cute ideas!)

I cannot wait to give Jonas his new train set. I had a rummage sale just so I could afford to get him the set for his birthday, and miraculously made twenty-five cents short of the price of the set. He is going to be so stoked.

Anyway. I need to get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be intense. I am also closing a Stampin’ Up party I had. If anyone needs some stamps drop me an e-mail, I’ll hook you up.

Yesterday I was waiting to have some material cut for me at Joann’s Fabrics when I spotted a box of discount remnant fabrics. Since they are usually discounted pretty significantly I thought I’d take a peek. Right on top was a bright red material covered in red sequins. It took everything in me not to buy the quarter yard of red sequin material for nostalgia’s sake. You see, back in the day, I used to love to wear red sequins.

Little known fact to most of my blog readership (hee hee- I have a “readership”. That sounds so important.) Is that I used to put on the sequins and go sing and dance for people a few times a month. I know you’re thinking, oh my gosh! She’s an ex-stripper! Sorry, nothing that exciting.

I was in my high school show choir, Pizzazz. We were one of the good show choirs, not the lame ones that just sing off key and hardly move. We danced and we sang well enough to take first place and overall best in show in every competition we entered while I was a member. We did shows for school stuff, of course, but we also did company parties and concerts. We helped open a K-Mart once ( I know, I know, biiig time stuff, eh?) We did a television show for public broadcasting too. During the holiday season I was in a different hotel conference center every night singing for company Christmas parties. Valentine’s we did singing telegrams. One Easter we sang on a cruise ship in the Bahamas.

As completely hokey as all of this sounds, I really loved every minute of it. Here’s a publicity shot from my junior year.

I couldn’t find the shot I wanted to share. It’s not like I leave this stuff out or anything. I really only think about it when I stumble across red sequins at the fabric store. Since having children, I sometimes feel like I have a past life, because the past is so far removed.

Jonas has discovered that he can make Maggie cry by roaring at her. Jonas has been roaring at people for the better part of his three years, so getting him to stop for her sake is proving quite the task. Poor Baby!

This photo is actually from a few days ago- I feel bad taking a picture of Maggie when she is so scared by the roaring!

The other day we had to take Jonas to the clinic for a blood pressure test. Being the stupid people that we are, we figured that if Chris dropped Maggie and I off at the commissary to do a little grocery shopping, they would be back from the doctors about the same time I finished.

So, Chris dropped us off and we very quickly collected our groceries. I knew there was no way they were going to be ready for me, so I wandered the isles with Maggie for about twenty-five minutes before paying for my stuff and going outside. I stood outside waiting for almost a half an hour. Maggie was overheating and the milk was warming, so I opted to just walk home. We are only about 3 big blocks from the commissary, so it wasn’t too bad. Maggie was in her sling, so I had both hands free. Once I got home I tried to call the clinic to let Chris know where I was. Something was up with the phone lines, so I couldn’t get through. I took an incoming call, and then packed Maggie up in the stroller and walked back. We looked all over, but never saw our car. After another half an hour I told a friend to let Chris know we had gone home if she saw him. Then I went home and called the clinic again, this time getting through and being informed that they had just left. About twenty minutes later they showed up at home. Chris was not happy.

Apparently when he got to the clinic they told him to have Jonas sit still for a few minutes so the blood pressure reading would be accurate. Anyone who knows Jonas knows that unless he is unconscious, this boy does not sit still. After about fifteen minutes Jonas climbed onto Chris’ back and was being still. Then Chris felt something wet trickling down his back. Jonas peed all over him. Chris pretty much freaked out. They had to go to the bathroom to get Jonas cleaned up, and when they returned the technician informed them that he would have to sit still for awhile again before they did the reading. When they finally did it, the dummy tech had no idea if it was high or low, so we really have no idea where Jonas’ health stands.

Chris left the clinic, drove to the commissary and sat there for almost an hour before he came home. We never once saw each other. Of course, there had to be bickering about it too. Chris was mad at me, and I was mad at him being mad at me before he even knew how hard I had tried to find him.

Two days later we went to the zoo. We were all outside the big building. I bent down to put Jonas’ sandals back on and when I stood up everyone was gone. I assumed they had left the children’s zoo, so I went to the entrance (which is very close to where we were) and waited. After waiting a for a few minutes we spotted a cotton candy vendor, so we bought some and waited. Jonas, having gone without a nap, took a huge tantrum when I made him share the cotton candy with me. He screamed, flailed, threw himself on the ground, and turned himself into a sticky snot monster. I dealt with his fit for about twenty minutes before things calmed down. While we were doing this, a few people actually had the nerve to make loud comments to their companions, expressly so I would hear about how they NEVER tolerate crying, and tantrums NEVER work for their children. One woman had the gall to stare directly at me for about two minutes straight, shaking her head and tut-tutting. If I hadn’t been so busy calming Jonas down (without giving him the candy- I’m going for effective parenting here, I’m not trying to raise a brat) I would have gone over to those people and yelled at them. I realize that they have no idea that I am dealing with a child who is not only dealing with a developmental delay, but who has gone without his nap. The methods I am using to calm him may not be conventional, but they work for Jonas and that is all I care about. I cannot believe people would be so rude. There is so much they just didn’t know about. What if he was a child with Autism? Just because the behavior is erratic doesn’t mean that the parents aren’t doing things right. Part of me wanted to give Jonas to them and say, “ok- show me how you’d do it so much better.”

Finally, I see my father in law looking for us. Apparently they had gone down a nature trail and when they realized they had abandoned us, we had already left. Not a big deal, right? Well, to Chris it was a big deal. You see, while they were looking for me, Maggie had a big poop, and it wasn’t the kind that stayed in the diaper. It was the kind that shoots straight up her little back and smears the person who is wearing them in the baby bjorn. Once again, Chris was pooped on, and pretty ticked about it.

The interesting thing is that in both of these instances, Chris was mad at me, not at the person who had defecated on his person. It took me awhile to figure out why this was making him so upset, after all, we have been parents for almost three years. I’m used to getting pooped on in public places. I realized that Chris really wasn’t home much when Jonas was a baby. He was working and going to school full time. Then when Jonas hit toddlerhood Chris was away with military stuff for six months. Then Chris was working round the clock again. Suddenly, he is around more, so he is dealing with the poop and the pee and the vomit. He is just now adjusting. Welcome to parenthood honey. Glad to have you around for the ride.

It’s been an interesting couple of days. Jonas is killing himself, one body part at a time. He tripped over a tricycle and skinned his face. Then he burned his hand trying to help me boil rice. Then he got the same hand in the way his stroller spokes and managed to shave off a huge chunk of skin. When he went to the doctor for an appointment we discovered his blood pressure is quite high, so we have to take him back for extra checks on that to see if there is a problem or not. So far it is always high. Not good.

Then Chris decided to give Jonas a haircut. I had a bad feeling when I consented to this, but when I ran upstairs to say I had changed my mind, too much damage had already been done. Jonas was holding onto his head and failing screaming “Ears! Ears!” Because he had gotten it into his head that Chris was going to cut them off too.

By the time Chris was done clipping Jonas’ hair it looked like he had lost a fight with a weed wacker. Normally, this wouldn’t be so bad. But we not only have Jonas’ birthday party this week, but my sister’s wedding is right around the corner. June will be a photo-fest all designed to capture my hamburger-faced, weed wacker haired boy. Lovely. To sum up my reaction, I cried.

This weekend we spent a day with my in laws visiting the San Francisco Zoo. Then we left Jonas with them and went home to enjoy some one on one with Maggie and one on one with each other while Maggie slept. It’s been nice. I needed the break. We have been doing mundane things with renewed vigor and joy. It is amazing how much easier life is without the two year old in tow. Of course, I do miss him when he is gone. Life may be easier, but it lacks a bit of the flavor.

I decided it was time for a new baby sling so I picked up some material and made this awesome pink one! Then I had material left over, so I made Maggie some pajama pants. Now I'm tempted to go buy more material and make myself a matching pair.

A few women at church saw me toting Maggie around in it and wanted slings so I invited them over and we had a sling making party. I have a few more coming over next week. Now when we go to church it will look like a joyful sea of patterned flannel.

I suppose the sling and the confession of co sleeping makes me somewhat crunchy-granola, doesn't it? Oh well. Crunchy=Happiness and Peace.



Maggie was a bit caught off guard with the flash since I usually don't do that to her. Startled baby and crummy fake lighting pictures. It was 9 o'clock at night- what's a girl to do?
Peace out.

My hands smell of tomato plants. I just snapped a few weak branches off my plant to encourage new growth and when I smelled my hands I was suddenly seven years old running around the garden barefoot with sun streaked hair swishing in the wind. There were marigolds and gophers and carrots that I pulled from the earth, orange and delicious, to be eaten raw with most of the dirt brushed off. My mother was crouched to the ground pulling weeds and I was waiting for the gourds and pumpkins to be full and ripe. Beautiful.

What was the last smell that stopped you in your tracks?